


I miss you, Dad

by Anonymous



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, Canon Compliant, Crack Treated Seriously, Crack and Angst, Dad Phil Coulson, Jemma Simmons & Skye | Daisy Johnson Friendship, Multi, Other, POV Skye | Daisy Johnson, Please Don't Kill Me, Post-Season/Series 05 Finale, Skye | Daisy Johnson Needs a Hug, ghost phil coulson (don't ask), kind of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-22
Updated: 2020-06-22
Packaged: 2021-03-03 22:07:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,247
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24852811
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: Daisy realizes that it's father's day when she's on the Zephyr, light years away from earth, looking for Fitz.So she cries.
Relationships: Agent Davis/Agent Davis's Wife (Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.), Hint of Jemma Simmons/Skye | Daisy Johnson if you squint, Jemma Simmons & Skye | Daisy Johnson, Phil Coulson & Skye | Daisy Johnson, Phil Coulson/Melinda May, mentioned:
Comments: 9
Kudos: 82
Collections: Anonymous





	I miss you, Dad

**Author's Note:**

> AHAHAAHA what kind of hot mess did this Happy Father's Day drabble turn into...
> 
> It got out of my hands. I didn't even edit it. Have fun with this. *Throws oneshot at reader, runs away screaming*

Time in space blurred together.

They left January 12th. Daisy, Jemma, Piper, and Davis; the first SHIELD team to travel through space (on purpose) in the search for Fitz. Daisy was head of the project, dealing out orders, because she was trained for it and Jemma couldn’t be objective.

That caused a slight rift between them for a couple of days.

Before Daisy left, she’d debated reading His letter, but she didn’t. She couldn’t. Instead she packed it in her duffle bag at the very bottom, making sure the corners wouldn’t get smushed, with the scrawled out  _ Daisy _ in familiar handwriting facing up.

The first few weeks were the worst. Every morning she woke up knowing that Coulson might be dead already, or barely hanging on, connected to machines. Before the two of them had left for Tahiti May had explained why he didn’t want everybody with him when he died. It wasn’t a pretty sight, and he wanted their last memory of him to be happy, or as happy as a permanent goodbye could be. May was the only one to be with him as he passed away, covered in machines and monitors and looking like death itself.

Eventually, it had been too long, and Daisy knew through her core that He Was Dead.

Her father was dead.

Because he  _ was _ her father, and had been for years. Daisy wasn’t sure when the switch from mentor to dad had happened, but it did. And Daisy never told him, even in the end, that he was her father.

But he knew. She could see it in his eyes, when tears were spilling out of her own and her vision blurred; he knew the words that were stuck in her throat.

‘I love you,’ he’d whispered, embracing her.

‘I love you too,’ she’d responded, hugging him for the last time.

And that was the point that they both knew for sure; the other was their father; the other was their daughter; and they were stronger than blood.

Now, all Daisy had was a letter and a window in her small bunk in the Zephyr, letting her see into space, imagining her dad somewhere out there; his spirit bringing happiness to the places he passed.

That was wishful thinking, of course. Ghosts didn’t exist.

June twenty-first started like any other day. Daisy woke up and slammed her phone’s alarm, then did some Tai Chi in the cold stillness of her bunk, facing space. After that, she changed and climbed down the ladder from her bunk to the main hallway. In the kitchen, Davis was already sitting on the couch in the adjoining common room, looking at his phone.

“Hey,” Daisy waved to him. He grinned and waved back. “What’s up?”

She shrugged and poured herself some powder into premade hot water for some gritty, tasteless coffee, like every morning. She’d tried drinking tea in the beginning but found that it gave her homesickness for May. “Just another day in space.”

Just then, Piper dropped from the fifth rung of her ladder onto the floor. “Hey, guys,” she said with a yawn. “Happy Father’s Day, Davis. What is Sonya; two, now?”

Daisy didn’t hear Davis’ response. Her blood was roaring in her ears and tears threatened to spill as she abandoned her coffee and made her way blindly out of the kitchen, shouldering past a concerned Jemma. She ran up the stairs through the control room and into the cockpit where she sat on one of the copilot’s seats and curled her arms around her legs, turning into a ball.

“I forgot,” she whispered to herself, staring out at the nothingness that was space. It was lonely. She sobbed once and covered her mouth with her hand, muffling any other cries she emitted. “I’m so sorry, Coulson, I forgot.”

Daisy sat there, tears streaming down her cheeks, wishing she could have May there; strong, silent, May who she could lay her head on and use her as a pillar by which to steady herself on.

She sniffled a little, then brushed away her tears. Something inside her told her to start talking. Talk to Him.

“Happy Father’s Day, Coulson. I know I never said it, but… you really were my dad. You loved me no matter how hard I tried to push you away, and you taught me- you taught me everything. And you gave me a home, and a family.” She hiccuped. “So yeah. You deserve a happy father’s day. Actually,” she chuckled humorlessly through her sobs, “You deserve to live. But obviously that didn’t happen a third time.” She sighed, plopping her head back on the headrest of the seat. “Thanks for everything. I wish I could tell you in person. I wish I told you when I had the chance.”

_ I knew,  _ Daisy could practically hear him saying.

Daisy sniffled again. “Yeah, but I didn’t say it out loud.”

_ That doesn’t matter. You’ve always been an actions person, like Melinda. _

“Oh.”

_ Happy Father’s Day, Daisy. _

“Happy Father’s Day,” she responded absently to his phantom voice/hallucination thing. She shook her head in disbelief. She was going crazy now, too?

_ You’re not going crazy, Dais. _

“What?” Jemma asked, ducking into the cockpit and sitting in the pilot’s seat. “Oh, it sounded like somebody else was in here with you. Sorry.”

Daisy blinked at her. “No, I- I’m alone,” she said slowly. 

Jemma studied her for a moment, then nodded. “Here. I know you don’t have many photos of… of him.” Jemma handed a lone picture to Daisy. She took it curiously, wiping away the tear marks that the scientist tactfully avoided mentioning.

The picture was the five original ‘Bus kids’ and ‘Bus parents’, as she and Jemma had taken to calling the original group years ago. Her hair was black and short so it was right before Aida and the Framework. The five of them were on the couch together, mostly asleep. Jemma and Fitz were cuddled together on one end, while Jemma’s head was on May’s shoulder. May and Coulson weren't yet dating so they were just ‘friendly’ cuddling (though May had a rare, blissful smile on her face that seemed more than ‘friendly’.) And Daisy was on the other end of the couch; her head on Coulson’s shoulder, fast asleep. And Coulson was the only one awake, smirking at the camera as if he was laughing at his predicament.

Daisy smiled sadly at the picture and cleared her throat. “I don’t remember this.”

“Mack took it. He gave it to me a couple of years ago along with some other candid shots I didn’t know existed,” Jemma explained. “I want you to have it.”

Daisy looked up at her friend. “What? No, Jemma, if you don’t have a copy-”

“I’ve had it for a couple of years. I’ll be fine. You don’t have any physical photos of him. Take it. I would’ve given it to you earlier; I forgot I had it.”

Daisy gave Jemma a small smile. “Thanks, Jem. Happy Father's Day.”

“Happy Father’s Day, Daisy.” Jemma took Daisy’s hand and squeezed it comfortingly before exiting the cockpit.

_ It’s a cute picture. _

“Yeah.” Daisy traced Coulson’s face with her finger. “It’s really you, isn’t it?”

_ I’ve been saying that. _

“I miss you, Dad.”

_ I miss you too, Daisy. _

A couple of seconds later, Daisy could feel something missing. Whatever he was, he was gone. 

“Happy Father’s Day,” she sighed, looking back out among the stars.

**Author's Note:**

> I told you it was a hot mess. I wrote this at two in the morning and I don't remember what I wrote. Found it in my docs, decided to post. I'm going to maybe sleep now.


End file.
